No Such Thing As A Valid Excuse, Only Reasons That Mean Nothing In The Larger Term

I'm fully aware that I've taken a couple of weeks off from the blog, and without notice, which I know makes me not only less of a hero in the eyes of the sweet, innocent little children who come out every Wednesday night and keep Kym busy running back & forth ordering pitchers of Shirley Temples & Hawaiian Punch and who keep Facebook's servers glowing with the latest gossip about Janet's hair or what exactly I was trying to say in my fractured pidgin Irish two hours after trivia was over and I was way past my bedtime, but also (for those of you who don't subscribe to the RSS feed and still come here every day hoping to read something here, like a recap or whatever) kind of a dork.

Well, guilty as charged. I am a dork. In fact, we are all a dork, a student, a journalist, a comedian, a human-rights worker, a wii enthusiast, and a drunken smartass. (Does that answer your question?)

What I can safely promise, though, is that tonight I will be giving away some excellent prizes, and all of them by, for, about or to the douchebag in your life whom you love the best. Amber waves of douchebaggery tonight! Long may they wave!

I have the recap material here, and I'll be getting them up once I get on top of this new job I got. (Oh yeah, I got hired, which is great, but I have to make sure I don't look like I'm conducting trivia business on company time. Much.)

See you tonight.

Hey, An Actual Excuse To Go Outside And Do Something Else On A Sunday Night

A few DSO people have put together a group for kickball in McCarren Park in Greenpoint on Sunday evenings. It's allegedly a little hipster-heavy, but fuggit, we could be the answer to that.

This seems to be only slightly competitive, if that (there will be beer, and while some teams seem to be going apeshit with the uniforms, we can work something appropriately, uh, trivial in our own time.) There are about six or seven of us, so we need another three or four people to make a full team.

It's kick baseball. With beer. In the park on a Sunday afternoon. Seriously, what's not to like.

Interested? Email me or leave a comment.


(Recap is coming later tonight. I had two job interviews this morning, and I have to catch up.)

Tonight @ the DSO: Drugs, Juice and other Intoxicants

Kind of a hint

I've been sitting on this amazing reference book for a little while, just for educational purposes, but tonight it goes into the prize pouch for one of you lucky people to use as your new favorite handy-dandy reference work.

Illegal Drugs is the first comprehensive reference to offer timely, pertinent information on every drug currently prohibited by law in the United States. It includes their histories, chemical properties and effects, medical uses and recreational abuses, and associated health problems, as well as addiction and treatment information.

Thanks to Karen for that prize.

Also going to one lucky team: Not just one, but two (yes, two) copies of Jose Canseco's dishy tell-all about steroids in baseball, Juiced. Even if you don't like baseball, it's still a fun read. Jose has clearly enjoyed his time at the top of the sporting world, and he no longer gives a shit. It's a lovely thing to see, really. There are parts where he's running off at the mouth like any other junkie, but it's remarkably coherent considering where it came from. And if you are a real baseball fan, then this is really a must read.

I said there are two copies of Juiced to give away. One of them is the Spanish version, El Hombre Quimico (!). Compare and contrast, and see what asides are in one that were tastefully omitted in the other!

Oh, and that's not all! We also have a DVD of Il Divo Live at the Greek Theater! (They're the opera version of 'N Sync! They're so dreeeeamy!) This could actually make someone you know very happy. (That's true of all these prizes, come to think of it.)

We'll see you tonight!

Tonight: Spelling Bee In Brooklyn

We are always down with spelling bees, and given how the last year-plus has gone, that will probably never change as long as there is breath in our lungs and twenty-six letters in our alphabet of choice.

To that end, they're throwing one tonight at Freddy's Backroom to benefit a new play, The Late Education of Sascha Wolff, which they're workshopping for some festival. Having thrown a few benefits like this in our time (and we will again, maybe soon, just to give you a heads-up), so you kids get on with yourselves.

Also, given the line of work we're in, we're always pretty much down with anything involving alcohol and "education" too, so there you go.

5/9 Recap: This One's For My Momma

I'm actually wondering if Dempsey's has done some work in the last year that I didn't know about.

One of the reasons we took last July off was that the place would just get unbearably hot in the summertime, but with the temperature staying up around 80 last night, the extra ceiling fans really made a difference. The air was still a little funky, but it was a little cooler, and with the coming further renovations next month (if they involve Dempsey's being closed on a Wednesday, I'll let you know as soon as I know), this summer could be rather more pleasant than last year.

This week's rounds:

1. On This Day - In which Janet namedropped Rosario Dawson, the African National Congress, and Prince Rainier, as well as commemorating the publication of the de facto bible of a fruity little cult.

2. Audio Round: One Song Leads To Another - Okay, here's the deal. I could make up a story about how this round was exquisitely conceived out of whole cloth during a peyote binge inspired by the arrest of Paris Hilton and the retirement of Tony Blair, but the story is that my CD burner died, and so I frankensteined together an audio round out of duct tape and kleenex this week. I am a slave to technology, and every once in a while, Technology yanks the leash to let me know who's boss.

3. Because I Can - Cannery Row, the Cult Awareness Network, "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better," and the number of cards in a full game of canasta.

4. Mothers - Because not only is this the week of Mother's Day, but two teams brought their parents to the game, thus winning these cool mesh hangy down container things from IKEA. (I recommend bringing one's parents to the DSO. Team trivia is a great bonding exercise, and they tend to know shit you don't.)

5. Name 3's - Between last night and today: a correction. James "Scotty" Doohan, Gene Roddenberry and Timothy Leary have all had their cremains launched into orbit, but it seems the Scotty has become the man who fell to Earth.


Team names this week:

• 1st Place: Xes For Eyes (This may be the name of my band, and I know the First Rule of the DSO is No attempt is made to make this game fair, but they won fair and square, no diggety.)


• 2nd Place: Please God, Don't Make Me Work For Rupert


• 3rd place: Coney Island Tenement
  
  
  Followed by (in no particular order):


• It's Not A Bald Spot, It's A Solar Panel For A Sex Machine


• I Love My Mom & Dad & Fan Boy


• No Talent Ass Clowns


• The Hilton Cell Block Inn


• ↑↑↓↓←→←→BA[Start]


• White Water Rupture


• The Wetbacks


• Awesome^{∞ ^ 2}


• Ups Syndrome


• Dana, Making It Work In '07 Without Sam!


• The Wall Hungarians!


• Table For Juan

I am looking forward next week to a batch of chili (enough for everyone, apparently) cooked using a recipe from the Canned Soup Cookbook we gave away this week. See, that's the kind of thing that makes this shit fun. Feed us, is what I'm saying here.

What did I miss?

Good News, Bad News

First, the good news: tonight's audio round will not have a theme. I know that completely changes the way you plan on studying for it, so I figured I'd give you a heads-up. (Actually, this is a crush week at the day gig, and while I put together a good round, I'm not going to be able to get home and collect it before tonight, so I've got next week's work mostly done already, which will be a welcome relief. For me, I mean. You guys are on your own.)

The bad news is that one lucky winner tonight will get the three movies in the Scream trilogy in splendiferous DVD format! (There's also a canned-goods cookbook and some extra trinkets courtesy of IKEA, as well as the usual bar tab prizes and whatnot.)

It's going to be a gorgeous evening. Come spend it indoors with us!

5/2 Recap: Smell The Love

Thanks to a nice mention in the Gothamist and on Freenyc.net, there was a nice influx of folks who hadn't come before yesterday, which was nice, because the rivalries between the warring factions were kindasorta heating up last night, and it would sure be nice to feel a little love between the tribes every once in a while. (Which was why I threw in those how-to-love books as prizes.)

This week's rounds:

1. On This Day - Big ups (or whatever size ups are appropriate) to Senator Russ Feingold, home run great Josh Gibson, the late Roscoe Lee Browne, and the cast of the upcoming film version of Mamma Mia.

2. Audio Round: Where The Streets Have No Clue - Songs about roads and streets, not including XTC's Respectable Street, Dire Straits' Telegraph Road, or anything by this guy.

3. May I? - A clever pun about May 1 and other Mays, including Elaine May and Rollo May, though nothing about Wilfred "Wop" May, who was reputed to have shot down Baron Manfred von Richtofen, who would have celebrated his 117th birthday today, and about whom I did not ask a question in Round One. Call it synchronicity by omission.

4. The Daily Show - Questions about days, though it only seemed like hours. (As a followup to the debate raised by the question about what was part of the new "Recommended Daily Allowance," the MyPyramid site contains details on the eight different pillars of healthy living, for those who were interested. Exercise is represented by the guy going up the stairs, and alcohol is the little white patch at the top of the triangle. (I am sure that Big Pharma would be thrilled to have medications count as a food group, but uh, yeah, no.)

5. Name 3's Inventors, puppeteers, and Bernard Malamud novels!


Team names this week:

• 1st Place: Pennsylvania 09-F9-11-02-9D-74-E3-5B-D8-41-56-C5-63-56-88-C0!


• 2nd Place: Lacking Alps, Goats Settle


• 3rd place: Where's Gibbons Now!
  
  
  Followed by (in no particular order):



• Taylor Hansen Has 3 Children


• Danny De Veto's My Timeline For Withdrawal


• Barbaro's Blue Suede Horseshoes


• Mendel Says "Peas Out Yo!"


• 646-413-6*** For A Good Time (digits redacted; not the first time someone's done this, and I'm saving someone a world of hurt)


• The Ladies! (And A Man)


• The BK Hawks


• Britney's Happy Backup Dancers (It's Been Three Years)


• Hancock, Take The Wheel


• The Millsted Boys


• Anna Nicole's Baby Daddies (Jenn, Dana & Sarah)


• I Really Hate My Girlfriend (who came in, played the last round, and left. Table for one, sir?)

Aside from the belowmentioned books and the usual bar tab prizes for the top three finishers, we also gave away a copy of Kinky Boots, a startling comedy about British footwear, which after looking at the reviews, actually doesn't look half-bad.

Tonight, We Show You How To Love

Tonight is going to be all about the love. Not just the normal we-love-you-do-you-love-us-mark-X-yes-or-no stuff that all us preteens go through until well into our seventies, but in terms of actual prizes.

A few months ago, we gave away a copy of the galley proofs of Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way, a how-to of the highest order, as could only have been written by the star of the way underrated Bubba Ho-tep himself. Well, now we have a fresh hardbound copy, with far fewer flyaway pages (and hopefully a few more rounds of proofreading)!

(I've heard that Mr. Campbell is a great guy, and if he should ever be interested in coming down to enjoy an evening of the trivial arts, he would find an appreciative and adoring group of fans at our little to-do.)

Oh, and we're also giving away a copy of Carmen Electra's How To Be Sexy. Question her skills in front of a camera or in any discipline that requires her to keep her clothes on, but really, the whole "being sexy for beginners" thing is the one arena in which she is a generally acknowledged master. (Personally, I think the coolest thing about her is that she's from Buffalo. After that, give me a chronic reader who hasn't schtupped Prince. I know that's not a large group to choose from, but I gotta be me.)

My point is, regardless of whether you prefer 'em with innies or outies, there's something on the table for you lucky people tonight.

There will also be Pocky and some excellent B-grade DVDs, the latter courtesy of a special friend at Miramax.

See you tonight.